Bloody Australia! They’ve been doing so well in recent years becoming beloved between people who’ve studied abroad or vacationed there who won’t stop talking about it and the fact that 90% of the hot chicks you see on Instagram are from there.

But at heart they’re just a bunch of wacky former convicts who’ll stage a faux beheading video with Johnny Depp to prove how serious they are about people not importing foreign plants and animals.

I’m sure there are all sorts of logic to the reasons why they do this when not being read in a monotone by two annoyed and confused actors (though Amber Heard seems to be relishing that this is her first dramatic performance in years) but it’s such a bizarre thing to force them to do.

And, I’m sure Aussie officials thought people around the globe would see this and go “Yes, I should take biosecurity more seriously” as if Australia was some sort of innovative global leader. But instead, they’re the butt of jokes all over the world because they took two famous people and made them record a hostage video as punishment for bringing two tiny dogs with them on a trip. It’s Crocodile Dundee all over again but with a poorly acting Johnny Depp instead of an equally poorly acting Paul Hogan, Australia just can’t stay out of their own way.

Australia has very strict biosecurity laws to protect the health of our people, animals and plants. Everyone entering the country must truthfully declare if they are carrying any items listed on the Incoming Passenger Card.

Ms Amber Heard appeared in the Southport Magistrates Court in Queensland on 18 April 2016 to answer charges alleging the illegal importation of her two dogs into Australia in April 2015. Ms Heard pleaded guilty to one count of producing a false document (her Incoming Passenger Card).

Ms Heard also offered to publicly state her contrition with the support of her husband – this video is that statement.

Fusion – Agriculture Minister Barnaby Joyce was the one who posted the apology video online, and probably had the most Australian-sounding comments ever made about the whole affair.

“Every nation has something that they’re red hot about, and we’re red hot about our biosecurity requirements in this nation,” Joyce told the AP. He previously had said “It’s time that Pistol and Boo buggered off back to the United States.”

It’s also worth pointing out that this was LITERALLY an episode of The Simpsons once in which Bart had to apologize to Australia for a prank call and then unleashed a swarm of frogs smuggled in upon their country.

If they really wanted to make the punishment really resonate for all of us, they’d have had Amber Heard take a bare-bottomed booting on video. That’s how you send a message.

Mr Joyce has shared the pro-quarantine video on his Facebook page, following Amber Heard's court appearance in Queensland.

Heard was given a one-month good behaviour bond with no conviction after she illegally brought her dogs, Boo and Pistol, to the Gold Coast on a private jet last year.

Mr Joyce said the couple communicated with the Department of Agriculture about filming the apology, but suggested it was a reluctant one.

"I don't think it'd be something that they would've willingly would've wanted to do," Mr Joyce said.

"I hope that now things move on and this issue is left behind, except for the part that it reinforces to all and sundry, don't take our biosecurity requirements as a joke."