When it's time to say goodbye.....

Pets are very special to us especially when we keep them as part of our family. Whether it is a pedigree or mongrel dog, fancy cat or ally cat, horse, rabbit, bird or any other pet they all have an impact on our lives that isn’t really appreciated till we lose them.  We form bonds with pets that can last a lifetime. It may be that they have a link to some event or someone in our lives, which makes this bond even stronger.  They rely on us for food, shelter, companionship and most importantly their welfare and health. By providing these needs we take responsibility for giving them the best life we can, this is also true when the time comes to end the suffering of a well-loved pet.
    Euthanasia literally means ‘a good death’, and it is up to us to provide this as peacefully as possible. It is natural to feel guilty about considering euthanasia. Some people feel angry that the animal could not be saved and ask themselves “what if I had done something different” or “ I should have…” It is important to discuss these feelings with your vet. The vet and the practice staff are used to advising and talking about this very difficult decision and will help reassure you that this has been the most appropriate one for your pet. Veterinary nurses are trained to deal with bereavement and will be available to discuss things before and after your pet has been euthanized. Don’t be afraid to approach anyone in the practice, perhaps you would feel more comfortable talking things over with a receptionist or another practice member.
    The depth of emotion we may feel can be unexpected and it can be similar to mourning the death of a human friend. This is not surprising when you consider the friendship that has been lost. Each one of us will react and mourn in a different way, some deeper and longer than others. The house will feel empty and you may experience feeling that you cannot believe this has happened. Some people may feel lonely and this be worsened by the lack of understanding from others. Some people will feel overprotective of other animals in their care. It helps to share your feelings, talk to friends who will understand or someone at the vets surgery you may feel will help.  Guilt, anger, remorse and sorrow are all normal responses, and a tribute to what that pet has meant to you.
Children should be told the truth about their pet in simple clear language from someone they know. Avoid phrases like “put to sleep” this will confuse younger children. If the pet has a terminal illness it would be wise to talk over the illness before euthanasia and what it means. Be prepared for questions and answer truthfully and don’t be afraid to show your feelings. Children should have the opportunity to say their goodbyes and prepare themselves for the loss. If they want to be present at the time of euthanasia or to see the pets’ body afterwards then this should be a very important consideration. Also be prepared to take time to talk about what is being done at each stage. Your vet will give you and the children as much time as you need to say goodbye. Don’t rush away.  Children may want to draw pictures, write stories and this should be allowed to help them let go of their grief. If burial is not possible at home then perhaps planting bulbs or a shrub that will flower each year as a mark of remembrance of the good times they had with their pet. Children who are allowed to grieve and let go will be better prepared for future losses.
    After a while you may start to think about another pet. Some sooner, some later. It is normal to feel that somehow you may be betraying your pet by “replacing” it. Only you can decide when it is time to invest in another pet. It may help to get a different breed or colour, perhaps a different species. Bringing home a new pet does not replace the pet that has been lost, but fills an emptiness with a presence, full of a new beginning.