Halloween, like 4th of July, or 5th of November is a terrible time for animals. If you have dogs or cats, keep them indoors that night. At best, the sugar-induced screeches from the little ones will drive your pup insane. At worst, your pet could face intentional taunting or even physical provocation by older kids.

Remember, H.A.U.N.T.E.D.: Your first priority Halloween night is not to see that mini Lady Gaga gets her fun-size Butterfinger (or is it fun-size Lady Gaga and mini Butterfinger?). Rather, it’s to ensure your animals are safe and comfortable. There is nothing wrong with — no apology needed! — sitting this one out. Nellie Nosypants needs an explanation? Tell her you were observing the annual fright fest with true gusto — by “resting in peace.”

If, come November, you’re still feeling guilty about your lack of Halloween spirit, you can always make a sizeable donation to the dental health program at the local primary school.

You can take it a step further by leaving a note on your door letting people know not to knock or ring the doorbell. My friend left a note one year saying that she was very sick and contagious and not to knock. You could even put a cover over your doorbell to keep people from ringing it. You could put caution tape (which you can get at Home Depot) across your front porch as well to keep people from even stepping onto your porch.